
Rediscovering God: Breaking Free from False Expectations
Rediscovering God: Breaking Free from False Expectations
By Joe Lilavois / June 27, 2025
The false god of expectations
As I reflect on my life, I realize that I spent years pursuing a god who existed only in my expectations. In other words, I was seeking a god that didn’t truly exist. The deity I had conceived in my mind was not the One True God; rather, it was a false god shaped by my upbringing and the beliefs instilled in me by well-meaning yet misinformed individuals. They created an image of “God” and passed these beliefs on to others. Now I understand why I never felt like I was in an actual relationship with God; it was one-sided. I was trying to engage with a god who was merely a product of my imagination, all the while thinking it was truly how the One true God was.
A one sided relationship
This led me to the belief that having a relationship with God meant having a one-way conversation. I talked while He was silent. I followed the rules, obeyed, and sought to please Him, while God would remain silent, merely approving or disapproving of my prayers. Occasionally, I would experience a fleeting sense of connection, but most of the time, I felt “judged” for my mistakes in life.
Beyone Expectations
The fundamental flaw in this approach is that God cannot fit into our limited ideas. When God doesn’t match our expectations, disappointment sets in, and we feel abandoned or uncared for by God. The truth is that God has not let us down, the false image of god we created has let us down. The only path forward is to discover the real God by setting aside preconceived notions from others. God cannot be fully explained; He needs to be experienced.
False Beliefs
I once believed I “knew” God and often shared that with others until a controversial televangelist challenged me. He asked, “If you know Him, what’s His favorite color?” I realized I didn’t know, despite my claims of knowing Him. He pushed further and asked about God’s favorite song, and I dismissed these questions as trivial. However, they haunted me and forced me to reconsider everything.
Knowing vs knowing “about”
I know my son deeply because I spend time with him and shared experiences/time with him. I know his favorite song as well as his favorite foods. His favorite color is neon green, and he absolutely loves coconut ice cream bars. He has a strong dislike for chocolate, and he’s particular about his chicken nuggets—they have to be in dinosaur shapes. He used to be obsessed with Cheetos, but now he prefers Doritos. Recently, he started trying new foods and discovered that he enjoys cheeseburgers. How do I know all these intricate details about him? It comes from spending quality time together and getting to know him through our shared moments, not reading a book “about” him. Yet, here I was, claiming to know God without knowing even basic things about Him. What I had was merely knowledge passed down to me, not true relationship that comes from experience. Did I really “know” God, or did I just know “about” God.
From Rituals To Relationship
For a long time, I took pride in how I defended my relationship with God. I often relied on phrases like “studying the Bible” and “quiet times of prayer” to validate my spiritual journey. I considered those things as “spending time with God” I believed that these practices were enough to establish a connection with the divine. While I acknowledge that such activities have their own significance and can enhance one’s faith, I eventually realized they were not a substitute for a genuine, face-to-face relationship with God.
Confronting Doubt
It all came to a head when that evangelist challenged my relationship with God, claiming that I only knew “about” God but lacked true relationship. His intensity and passion were palpable, and instead of feeling welcomed, I immediately felt defensive. I was confident in my understanding of God and my relationship with Him, convinced that I had all the answers. As he spoke, though, a seed of doubt began to germinate within me. I could either disregard him, writing him off as someone who didn’t understand my faith, or I could accept his challenge and truly listen. Why was I being defensive? I wouldn’t feel this way if someone suggested that I didn’t know my son. I would laugh it off, fully aware of the special relationship we share. Was there some truth in his words? Was I triggered for a reason? Was I defensive because I didn’t have the relationship with God that I truly desired? Could this trigger be pointing to the fact that it was time for change and transformation?
Breaking Down Barriers
After some reflection, I chose to let my defensiveness guide me to something I would have normally dismissed. I realized that the defensive armor I had put on was a barrier to my growth. What if I was missing out on a deeper understanding of God? It was clear that the evangelist had insights that could only come from a genuine relationship, and I wanted what he had. This wasn’t about the one-sided conversations that the church refers to as prayer; it was about a back-and-forth dialogue, similar to the exchange between two friends. I decided to engage with the evangelist’s challenge directly.
The Key To Transformation
That decision was crucial. It opened a door I never knew existed—a door that can only be opened by a sincere desire for more. The key to this door was to completely abandon all theological teachings taught by man. Everything related to “head knowledge” was entirely discarded.
This difficult change not only transformed my relationship with God but also affected every other aspect of my life. The more I let go of my preconceived notions, the stronger my relationship became. It was no longer about accumulating knowledge; it became about discarding old beliefs that hindered true relationship.
Redefining My Relationship with God
To truly know God and establish a two-way relationship with Him, I had to release everything I had been taught about Him and concentrate solely on my personal experiences. Many people confuse what they’ve been taught about God through others with their own personal experiences, mistakenly believing that their theology and teachings are completely accurate simply because they have had an encounter. I made this mistake for years, using significant past experiences, like a transformative prayer, to validate everything I had been taught “about” God. But that is misleading.
Redefining My Relationship With God
People who have had a life-changing “salvation” experience often defend their theiology on God based solely on that moment. While these experiences are real, they do not guarantee that our learned teachings about God are correct. This realization was challenging, especially since my own salvation experience freed me from addiction. However, once I uncovered deeper truths about that experience, it shattered my entire understanding of God.
A Slow Decline Of Deception
I had a life-changing moment with God when I professed Jesus as my Lord and Savior. That moment was truly transformational. However, afterward, I was taught by man. The profound experience I had with God did not lead to more daily encounters, like how a human relationship grows through shared experiences. Instead, it turned into lessons about God. My experience shifted to acquiring knowledge and following rules, which lacked the essence of personal experience and relationship.
Misguided Understanding
The head knowledge “about” God became lifeless, I became desperate for more encounters with God, and out of that desperation, I received only a few glimpses of His presence. I mistakenly validated my relationship with God based on these fleeting moments, not realizing that this was not how He intended it to be. I settled for a concept in my mind, believing “this is how it is.” This conclusion was false and stemmed from the misguided teachings I had received.
The Essence of True Connection
Unlearning the teachings of man and experiencing firsthand revelations, rather than just acquiring knowledge, was a defining moment for me. God was no longer just a concept or something I had to seek; instead, He became a reflection of my relationship with my son. I didn’t learn about my son by studying about him from a book; rather, I built our relationship by sharing daily meaningful experiences together. Daily! That, to me, is what true relationship is all about.
The key of Letting Go
The key to my profound transformation was my decision to let go of everything I had been taught and start over as if I knew nothing. That moment marked the beginning of open visitations, visions, and spiritual encounters, including firsthand, one-on-one teaching sessions that challenged all my theological concepts and understandings of God. At first, I thought I was giving up on God, but I came to understand that I was not abandoning Him; instead, I was letting go of the theology that was hindering my relationship with Him. Once I released these beliefs—initially out of frustration—that’s when the floodgates opened.
A Journey of Relationship
I am still on this journey. I don’t claim to know everything about God. Just like my relationship with my son, I don’t completely understand Him, even though I spend nearly every day with Him. As I get to know Him, things change, and we grow together through our experiences. This is how my relationship with God unfolds.
The Value of Personal Encounter Over Intellectual Knowledge
Head knowledge about God will distance us from Him. God is not a concept to be explained; He is revealed through personal experience. Our role in helping others is to encourage them to seek their own face to face encounters with God, which are far more impactful than mere head knowledge. While some argue that both knowledge and experience are beneficial, I’ve found that true revelation and one-on-one experiences with God render man-made teachings insignificant, as they are filtered through a limited human perspective.
Beyond Knowledge: Accessing Spiritual Truths
When we fill our minds with knowledge about God, we find that our minds can never be fully satisfied because the mind can not grasp spiritual matters. Consequently, we seek even more knowledge, attending more sermons and seeking additional services and teachings that ultimately do not provide true satisfaction. This is because our minds, being part of the physical realm, are not equipped to understand deep spiritual truths. When we gather, our focus should not be on feeding the mind more teachings about God. The Bible is not meant to teach us about God in a conventional sense; rather, it serves as a gateway to a deeper spiritual realm. It is a doorway that bypasses the mind. This understanding remains hidden from those who pursue intellectual knowledge. We should not read the Bible simply to accumulate more information or to adhere to more rules.
Yearning for Deeper Connection
This message may not resonate with everyone; it is specifically intended for those who feel frustrated by unanswered prayers and stuck in a stagnant relationship with God. This message is aimed not at those who feel confident and satisfied with their current relationship with God, but rather at those who sense there is more to discover. It is for those who desire a deeper connection enough to let go of all earthly teachings that may be obstructing the “more” they seek.
Embracing a New Reality
There is a whole new world waiting for you—one that is accessible to anyone willing to let go of ineffective religious programming and embrace a true experience that cannot be achieved by simply feeding the mind more irrelevant knowledge.
Exploring Deeper Connection
If you’re interested in exploring this topic further, I offer a four-part video course titled “
Unveiling Your Soul’s Contract” that delves into many of the concepts discussed in this blog. Additionally, I am available for one-on-one Zoom sessions. I look forward to connecting with you and assisting you in transforming knowledge into meaningful relationships.
Coach Joe
iamoutofmymind.com